I was totally clueless. I guess everyone around me knew, except for me. It was quite a surprise and I am still in shock, here, 24 hours later, with the pretty ring on my finger.

Still, unbelieving that is all not a dream.

It was very magical and romantic, even though it only involved two of us and the scenery. We were doing the garden tours of the Hearst Castle, when we were walking around the pool, slight above this spot. This is the view from a level below.



When our guide stopped to talk about something else, David asked if it were okay to take a picture of the pool from here. The guide pointed him to an alcove, which was directly above the spot where the photo was taken. I went after him because the guide warned us, there might be another group, and we didn't need to get lost.

David asked me to come by and look at the pool, I will be honest, I was rather slightly irritated that he wanted to do something and get lost from the group. I asked him a multiple times why were we standing by the pool and received a reply "Oh nothing, look at the pool isn't it cool?"

That's when he pulled out a ring and asked me if I would marry him. I was so speechless I didn't know how to react to this, what to say so I stared at him and asked "Are you sure?"

Yeah. He was pretty sure.

So, here's the ring.



It has amethyst and blue opals and bitty diamonds in it. I love it. I absolutely love it.
Yeah. I am still totally dazed.

Those to whom I've not told yet, I am now engaged to David, my wonderful boyfriend - well, fiance now.


he proposed at Hearst Castle, I'll be posting pictures up later.

Losing friends is hard. Especially when you have known this person for a very long time..what? Five? Six years now?

Though it's not been an all of the sudden thing, it's mostly been a gradual thing. I kinda felt bad at first, really angry, upset, but then when hurt settled, I felt at peace.

I will miss a lot of things about you, but I understand you no longer give a fuck and I won't let anyone walk all over me like I'm a fucking door mat.

Do svidanya, my dear.

Ugh. Where to start. Okay. So, when I moved out my mom couldn't afford her own apartment so she got a roommate. Everything was fine until recently where my mom was supposed to leave for work, and her roommate left the car blocking my mom's car. So my mom had to call her, and when three hours later she didn't respond, she had to go into her room and get the key to the car so she could move it.

Her roommate wasn't too happy about it, which is understandable, but my mom didn't steal anything from her nor did she damage her car. The next day my mom went to deposit her social security checks to pay for the appartment, guess what? They were gone. When she asked her roomate that woman said that she didn't take anything. It's fine, we called the services had them mail us an affidavit so we can have the checks restored.

Today, mom went to the store, locked and secured the door to make sure it doesn't open by the wind or anything - came back, the door is wide open. Someone must have gone into her room while she wasn't there. Who knows what they were looking for or doing in there.

On top of everything this bitch hasn't paid my mom her half of the rent. So all the bills and the rent everything has been unpaid. Needless to say my mom threw her out.

I am glad she did. Perhaps she'll get a better roommate.
*sigh*

This is for everyone who ever wished they had some sort of a track progress community. If you're trying to get healthier, add work out into your daily routine, be motivated and encouraged to continue to work out even though it is hard, then please, join this community. Post your work out goal - for example, I want to loose 15 pounds by end of june. Then by using tags of your username, keep track of every entry on the community.

If you know anyone who'd like to loose some weight, advise them to join too. I made that place mainly so it could be a network of friends, rather than a community of strangers where people don't know each other.

This community is hopefully going to stay relatively small, where we could do weekly, monthly readings of goal achievements. NO goal is too small. Ever. Even if it's a pound of stubborn fat you wish to loose, go ahead and join anyway.

So yes, please come, hang out, share recipes, advice and work out plans :D

work_out_plan

But all I have to say that so far this season of 24 has been the best season ever.
I also have a very largely impending feeling of doom where something is telling me, Jack is just not going to make it past this season.

Oh, Jack -_-

Oooh, so close.
So. Very close.

I am slipping. By the fingernail I am slipping.

Though it is a bit strange,
I kinda like it.


Becoming it is different from thinking it.
Where do I stop?
Heh.

I've not known what to do with myself for quite a while so I started playing Harvest Moon.

I found out video games do a really good job to keep you from thinking about things you don't want to think about.

I've been on a photo binge, taking pictures of EVERYTHING I see. Taking pictures channels my creativity into the right mood, so it doesn't fester into depression. I've realized with my photography I'm not looking for cool things or awesome things to take a picture of. I take pictures to collect memories and identify feelings. So I am taking pictures of everything I see. What will come of it, I do knot know. Probably nothing.

I've I have no goal in life. I am a nomad, I go from one place to another, shifting like the wind. Heh. I like that idea, I guess.

Sometimes I wake up feeling that much sharper and closer to that point where things become clear, but that feeling is only moments long and then I cannot tell my head from the wall again. It's a bit strange. I find that my apartment reflects exactly how I feel on the inside.

It's a mess. There are rodents living in it. Well. One rodent. My white rabbit. It is not well lit and sometimes a little weird. I am a chaos. Structure bothers me. It burns me out, though I know I need it for survival, but I am much better at spontaneous destruction than I am at throughout building. There's a lot of energy flowing around in these walls, sometimes it'll crash land into me and I do not know what to do with myself, since I cannot sleep as the energy demands release and I don't know how. It is a very strange feeling.

It's like being high on sugar. Then crashing. Then coma.

I have a feeling that bad things happen to people because you miss all you green lights. Every day the universe lines up good things for you, and if you manage to wake up at the wrong hour, you'll miss all those good things. I am looking for my groove to have all those loops that solve everything come my way. That way I can just spontaneously combust and burn.

Burn like a gasoline explosion.

Then suddenly die, returning the energy to the black, cold void.

The end.

But I forgot. While our characters are trying to wrestle themselves out of the greedy palms of the abyssal prince, Dia and Al'ran got married. Here's the imagine that associates with that entire thing.

( For better and for Worse )

Spawn was allowed into the bedroom again. We're constantly trying to outsmart the teenage bunny that runs the house, but sometimes we're way behind his thinking. Way behind.

Anyway, today he was chewing on the dresser when I woke up. That's a big no-no. Spawny no allowed to chew on dresser. So I had to litterally back him out of the narrow pathway between the dresser and the wall. This is the first time heard him being so annoyed he grunted at me. Yeah, rabbits can grunt. It sounds a bit like a pig.

So, then he was sitting on his litterbox making an angry bunny topped cupcake.

Anyway, I have realized that those who have not been to our home, have not had a chance to see our child. So, I'm going to post some photos. :D

Beware.

( Angry Cupcake and Disapproval Here )

Last night, my brain would not shut off, so I didn't fall asleep until five am.
When I finally drifted off, I had two nightmares, one worse than the other.

In the first one, we got robbed. The guy just punched his way into our place trough the dining room window and shot David.

Second one, I found a baby wrapped in a blankie on the hood of my car. I took it home and it turned out to be a demon baby! A FUCKING DEMON baby.

....

After pondering on it, David and I came to the conclusion.



The Rabbit is trying to eat my soul.

I know I've posted a lot of rants about my only surviving parent and how much shit she has put me through on and off. On friday, my mother and I yet had another fight. I won't go into the details but the short of it is - If I'm not perfect outside, there's no reason to be with me. In other words, I am so empty, so shallow and so inhuman that no one could EVER love me unless I look good.

That was the point of her "Advice" to me. Because and I quote "Everyone wants to see a normal, good looking healthy woman next to them." Too bad she's forgetting the times when dad was with her and she had no fucking teeth, and would spit when she talked and was constantly sick. Too bad she doesn't remember all the times when he had to put up with her because of her fucking depression and her bullshit. So, she's human enough to love, even though she looks like a shrunk leather couch, but I am not, because I have dared to gain some weight. (Yeah. I know. I am working on loosing it. It's rather hard when you have a twisted ankle and a back that pinches nerves at the slightest WRONG movement. But I am STILL trying)

It is my fault my health is horrible because I did it to myself. I know I'm a sick fuck, but I don't remember when I had put cancer on my wish list.

Anyway, she got me pretty upset and really, really pissed off. Enough to tell her off today when she called.

Sometimes I just wish I could simply punch her in the face.

Instead of yelling and screaming I just used the block feature.
If you figure it out, kudos for you. Until I stop feeling like killing you, stay there.

If, by some chance, you don't KNOW who you are, you can ask, keiko, for example for a hint.

Other than that - enjoy.



Tiredly yours.

Spoken means passed the information out into the world.
Thought means internalized the information into you.

If knowledge is power, the less you pass info to the outside world the more power you retain.
Thus the longer you keep your mouth shut the smarter/aka powerful you can get.

One big problem.
How do you tell if the knowledge is useless?

I used to think myself pretty witty, but I fail miserably.



Sorry, I am a false prophet.


Does that make me satan though?
I think it'd be cool if it did.

( D&D crap )

P.S. Erin - TemaSasu is HUGE now. I know, I know. I can SEE the future. Thank you :D

First, one of the WASHERS in this appartment building exploded and caught on fire. So at about seven pm at night, we had to submit to the fire department arriving and had to evacuate the building. If any of you had to catch a frightened to the death because of the loud syrens rabbit, I know you'll feel for me because I was so afraid I"ll give him a heart attack trying to get him out of the house. My first thought was grab the rabbit, grab David and lets get the fuck out of here. To hell with everything else.

I'll lie if I say I wasn't scared. I was frightened, I had a tshirt on and a pair of home pants. That was it. Not even a bra. We were sitting in David's car, waiting for the building to catch on fire and all I could think was "Thank you god we got out." Only afterward I realized how bad it would have been if the building truly caught on fire. If this doesn't force the management to replace the fucking washers and dryers, which, by the way, are FIVE HUNDRED YEARS OLD, I don't know what else could possibly make them do it.

Poor Spawn. When we brought him back, he only had the strength to collapse on the bottom of his cage, and lay there. He was breathing so heavily, because he was frightened by all the loud noise and the fact that I had to hunt him down with a blanket. He wouldn't even nom on lettuce, but he recovered thank you god. We all were exhausted and scared.

In the morning, David has decided to make me breakfast in bed, which was so sweet of him. I, however, was so exhausted, I didn't even get to finish it. I just drifted asleep, after eating a bit. I think the emotional exhaustion is worse than physical one.

We are perfectly okay though. Everything is fine, nothing's burnt to the ground.

One word meme stole from CnA who did it almost a hundred thousand years ago!

1. Where is your cell phone? Pocket
2. Your significant other? Satan
3. Your hair? Sat..er..Brown
4. Your mother? Cali
5. Your father? Dead
6. Your favorite city? Hell
7. Your dream last night? WoW
8. Your favorite drink? Blood
9. Your dream/goal? Death
10. What room you are in? Office
11. Your hobby? Killing
12. Your fear? Heights
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Away
14. Where were you last night? Work
15. Something that you are not? Beautiful
16. Muffins? Hate
17. Wish list item? Miracle
18. Where you grew up? Odessa
19. Last thing you did? Kill
20. What are you wearing? Smile
21. Your tv? None
22. Your pets? Rabbit
23. Friends? Deadly
24. Your life? Life?
25. Your mood? None
26. Missing some one? Maybe
27. Car? Working
28. Something you're not wearing? Pink
29. Your favorite store? Cemetary
30. Your favorite color? Black
31. When is the last time you laughed? Never
32. Last time you cried? Don't
33. Who will resend this? Resend?
34. One place that I go to over and over? Hell
35. One person who texts me regularly? Satan
36. My favorite place to eat? Nursery
37. My favorite food? Souls
38. Favorite band? Kino
39. Favorite movie? Many

Shannon,
Thank you for sharing your delicious casserole recipe with me. We tried it out and it was divine!
Thanks again, I'll be making more of that delicious, very cheap and quick to make dish in the future :D

If you have any other recipes to share, please do :D